I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
