This is not my ceiling
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
