first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
