Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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