Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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