She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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