When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
