I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
