are you still at the devil's house?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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