We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
