Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
