we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
