I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
