its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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