We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she told me i tasted like america
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
