miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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