Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
