I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
