Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
