I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
