my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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