Fuck appropriateness.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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