so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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