i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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