Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
