I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
