This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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