I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
