Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
