ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
