Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
