He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
