Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
