ya dads aren't the best wingmen
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
