9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
