you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
