Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
