Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
worst night to have a conscience
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
