oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
