I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
