I want to stick my p in your. b.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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