i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
