My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
