This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
