You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
