when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
