I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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