Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
