That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
