is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There's always time for handjobs
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
