does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
